This Is How We Do It

I think this is probably the question/statement I hear most. So I thought I’d let y’all know how we are doing it. This is in no way an assumption that it’s the right way to do it or how everyone should do it. It’s just how we’re able to deal right now.

First and foremost the fact we’ve been able to function as well as we have for the last two months is a testament to how blessed and supported we are. There is no way Kevin and I would be able to keep our full time jobs and care for Ava, Kohen, Ellie, and Wesley without the help we get. I’ve read in several support groups and message boards that often times when the “novelty” wears of families are often isolated and left with little support. I can’t imagine what we’d do if that happened.

Food

The meal train my cousin Justine set up had been a God sent! Knowing dinner is taken care of three nights a week is amazing. The other nights we eat something my mom has prepared or make a HomeChef meal. On Sundays we try to eat with my in-laws. I also use InstaCart to get groceries delivered. Not only is it a time saver, it also helps keep me away from even more crowds. For lunch AJ normally has something from home or orders from Door Dash. I believe that Door Dash may be her BFF. We try to limit her to two order per week, but since we really care most about making sure she’s eating something sometimes she sneaks in an extra order.

House

This one is simple Kev and my mom stay on top of it for me. 😀 Sometimes my mom folds our laundry, sometimes Kev does, and sometimes I do. I tend to help Ko and Ellie with homework when I get home or early in the morning when Ko remembers he has some. Everyone helps with Wes, but Kevin mostly handles walks. I deal with insurance, refills, and making sure all medicine is prepped.

Work

My mom lives with us and is the biggest blessing. She cares for Ava when were at work. She also cares for Kohen and Ellie when we have to go to the hospital with Ava. As I’ve mentioned before Kev is lucky to be able to telework a few days a week so he’s able to make it to some appointments I cannot. I have a fabulous friend who started subbing in the county last year and will be my main sub this year. She’s also bilingual so I’m hoping it’s a match made in heaven. My team and coworkers are amazing. They often make copies for me and push me out the door when I’ve been at work to long.

After School Activities

This is something we really cut back on. Unfortunately Ko’s basketball was something we couldn’t keep with. He’s okay with this though and understands he’ll pick it back up as soon as we can. Ellie is signed up for gymnastics and we’re so lucky to have my mother in law taking care of that. Let me tell you having a mother who is able to work from home and a mother in law who is retired is SUPER helpful.

Emotionally

I can’t say how Kevin stays as strong as he does. I just know that he’s been a rock since this started. Maybe it’s the Call of Duty he plays every night? I mean that does give him guy time. He’s formed a friendship with some of the spouses of my coworkers and they took him to brunch after we got home from our first long hospital stay. For me it’s probably equal parts my mom, coworkers, and friends. One of my favorite people texts me in the morning to see if I need a Starbucks treat. She also punches me when I’m in need of a hug. This may sound weird, but when I’m at work hugs get me off my game and I breakdown. So I prefer no hugs. Sweet Erin has found a way to show me she knows what I need, but respects that I need to keep it together. Even though we’re on separate floors now she always checks on me. Several friends who are also not on my team also check in to make sure I’m okay and send me funny messages just when I need them. This is part of the reason I returned to work, I’m not sure how I’d deal without my Brown Station family. Of course I also have my besties who stop by, text, and constantly try to set up brunch or dates. These are the friends who keep asking and never get annoyed when I have to bail.

Now it would be a bold face lie to say that we don’t have rough times, we do. Last night I barely slept because I was paranoid that Ava would have a fever. I’ve been up since 4 am waiting for it to hit. There are times I look at her and it simply breaks my heart. It’s so unfair that she has to go through this. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve pleaded with God to let it be me instead. A couple days ago Ava asked me why this happened to her and I didn’t have a good answer. All I could tell her was that it sucked. It’s times like that I’m angry and sad with her and for her. The best things I’ve found to get out of that mindset, to get out to the funk are to first to cry. It’s important to feel all the feels. Second I pray. I pray, plead, beg, negotiate, and eventually put my trust in God. Finally I find something to do for someone else. Whether it’s posting about someone else who needs prayers, raising money for childhood cancer research, donating to a fellow cancer families Go Fund Me or just reaching out to a fellow cancer mom, it helps. It gives me something to do and helps me refocus.

So as you can see we’re able to do what we do because we have huge squad behind us. From the bottom of our hearts the Guishard Gang thanks you.

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